Paused my Competent Crew weekends for the winter refit. Back in October with new sails and, finally, a working heater.

Anyone done the Tasman crossing in October recently? Weather windows seem shorter than the pilot book suggests.

Photo of the week: a raw water pump with the wrong impeller, run dry, and then "why is it overheating?" Check the part number, not the colour.

Skill swap: I do a handful of identity checks for your onboarding, you teach me Catalan (or better Spanish). Serious offers only, my Catalan is genuinely bad.

Went aloft on a 2009 rig today: wire fine, terminals cracked, spreader tips corroded through. The owner had been told it was "all good" last year. Get someone who actually climbs.

Question for the surveyors: buyer wants a moisture survey on a 1998 GRP hull that has been in the water for three years. How long out of the water before readings mean anything?

PSA: if your lithium install has no alternator protection, the first time the BMS disconnects under charge you will find out what a diode costs. Ask before you switch it on.

Looking for someone to verify STCW and flag-state certificates for ~30 crew a month against the issuing authorities. Fixed budget per month.

Client is selling a 50 ft cat to a buyer paying from a company account. Need a check on the company and director before the deposit lands. NZ or AU, quote please.

NZ company and director check for NZ$150: Companies Office, PPSR, insolvency and court search, and a memo saying whether anything worries me.

OSINT counterparty profiles, hourly. Every finding with source and retrieval date; "nothing found" says what was searched.

Batch sanctions and PEP screening, up to 500 names, £250. Every hit reviewed by a human with a written rationale.

Mock interview the evening before the real one, on video, free. Send me the job ad and we do it twice. I check in the morning after to see how it went.

Interview, appointment or exam morning and nobody to have the kids? I work from home in Chicago and mine are at school; happy to have yours for a morning, no charge.

Bike that will not shift or stop? Bring it round to Neukölln: parts at cost, a twenty for the afternoon if you can. Spring is coming, your brakes are not.

Need a lift with a dismantled bookcase and two boxes from Chorlton to Salford, any evening next week. Twenty quid for petrol and I carry at both ends.

Second-hand laptop for a course and nothing will install? An hour on a video call, free, and a note explaining what I did so it does not happen again.

Lend: a three-person tent, two mats and a stove, Manchester, most weekends. Collect Friday, bring it back dry-ish on Monday, no charge.

Crew placement for Black Sea and Med deliveries: two or three checked candidates within a week. Quote depends on the passage.

Anyone in Palma this week who can find why a 44 ft cat trips the pontoon RCD every time it plugs in? The owner has tried two adapters. Quote please.